The first thing you need to do is not give a $hit about what she does or says. You seem overly concerned about "bursting her bubble", That shouldn't be your goal. Your goal is to focus on you and your kids. Live the best life possible for you and your kids. She shouldn't even be a thought. That's how you burst the bubble. It won't happen until you're completely detached and don't care whether her bubble bursts or not. Seeing you being happy and successful without her is going to drive her nuts...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019