Wow. I came to the SSM forum this morning and thought to myself, "hmmm. Only two messages since yesterday. Pretty boring." Then I read the messages. Thanks to everyone who chimed in, but especially to Mike, MM, and Tim.
During the current "no pressure" campaign, things have gone so smoothly. She seems happier, less stressed, even told me yesterday that she enjoys what she's doing at her job, which is the first time she's said anything positive about it since she started at it, about a year ago. We are talking about things more (but not related to sex). We had a disagreement last week about disciplining my DS15 (from 1st marriage), but I heard her out, and then made a decision to stick to my guns. She was kinda pissed that night, but got over it and seemed to respect me (if not necessarily the decision I made). Before, I would have just done what she suggested. I find myself challenging her more often, and sometimes I see things her way, sometimes my way.
My attitude about challenging her is sometimes based on this little voice in my head that says, "what's she going to do...cut you off?" It makes me laugh inside, and I just take the plunge and follow my convictions. Understand that my convictions are usually not that different than hers, which is why we get along most of the time.
My attitude about sex and intimate contact in general is that I miss it so much, but keep on hoping she'll "see the light." What you seem to be telling me is that she won't see the light until I nudge her out of her comfort zone, and force her to find that light for herself. Of course, that may end the smoothness that is our marriage right now. Oh well.
You know what I really miss? I miss being comfortable with touching her naked body, kissing her, and making love.
Hairdog - conflicted, confused, and contemplative.
