Newlywed and DB-ing (part 3)

[funbun]

Thank you all for your advice. I will consider them as I weigh in my decision to announce D on SM v.s. keeping it a secret.

Nevertheless, W did make a few valid points about not displaying something private and shameful like a divorce. However, I just didn't like the fact that she is trying to put the burden on me when she is the cause of everything.

I sent a a long text just now:

"Hi. Regarding the divorce announcement, I do not want to promise that I will not make the announcement. Maybe I will, Maybe I won't. Maybe after 3 months or maybe in a year or two. I will decide based on whether it will benefit my well being or not. It's not for you to decide or control.

I want you to understand that, while I am still your husband, I try my best to be civil and to cooperate and to protect your rights as a wife. However, once the divorce is final, I have no obligation towards you or your family. The consequences of this divorce is 100% your responsibility. In my view, people WILL find out, and they WILL ask our parents. Do not try to place any guilt on me. Let me remind you, this is what you want"

She replied with:

"However, you want to be after this is over, that's entirely up to you. I will go on with my life. How I feel towards your parents, will not be up to you. It will be between me, them and God. So when I talk to them, however they want things will be, that how I will proceed with things."

I do not know why she mentioned my parents here. Seems out of topic.

She continued:

"Yes, I remember very well that this is what I want. I asked for it. I filed for it. And I know for sure that people will find out, people will ask. I'm in no way denying that. That's out of my control. What I know for sure is what I can control.

I don't really know why you're telling me all that. The last part. In the future maybe there's no need for that? Because honestly you're just showing the type of person you are... and some things are better not shown."

"You're just showing the type of person you are.." this part stings... She thinks the reason I wanted to post the D on SM is because I wanted the attention from people? I am not sure, perhaps there is truth in that deep inside of me, perhaps not. At the moment, I want to do it because (1) I don't want people to keep asking me if I am still married and reopen old wounds (2) to let people know I am single again.

She continued:

"Maybe you misunderstood.... I never said I wanted to keep the divorce a SECRET. But okay. I have nothing more to add now. See you next week in court"

I'm confused by what she said here. She told me to not announce it? Now I'm the once that misunderstood?

That's the end of our conversation.

God, that was hard to do. I wanted to reply and give her a piece of my mind. But I am trying not to, I know it's some kind of bait. Her reply hurts. It feels like I did the wrong thing. It's hard to know. All I know that it hurts.