Divorce and Acceptance part 5

[Pax_luv]

As I inch closer to trial, my anger and frustration over my ex’s shenanigans is really getting to me. I’m so over our situation and I have zero desire to have to rehash everything. I need to update some of the financial docs and I’m just pissed. This man played me like a fool. I’m smarter than this. I was a very weak wife who learned early on in the relationship to walk on egg shells around the man and it bit me in the arse big time. I’m mad that I sacrificed so much of myself for him and he completely took advantage of it (and demanded that i pretzel myself to meet him where he was at)
I’m mad that I trusted him. And I shouldn’t have. No, like, I really shouldn’t have. I knew this was what he was capable of. I was so naive. He would never do THAT to his own wife.

I’m disappointed that my trial will be virtual because I really wanted him to have to face me while he lied under oath. He would never make eye contact, of course. He hasn’t looked me in the eyes in 6 years. But I Just needed to see it. Would he squirm, would he hesitate, could he just flat out lie without a flinch?
He couldn’t even look at me during our court ordered mediation last year and we were sitting directly across from each other. I, on the other hand, was able to look at him. I have nothing to hide.

If you’ve followed along for any number of years, you will remember that I always knew this was a possibility. While I stupidly wanted to reconcile with the man, I knew it would be a contentious divorce nonetheless because I knew him. I knew he would do anything - anything- not to lose. And here we are. It’s gonna be a rough few weeks, but this chapter will soon come to a close. I can not wait.