Living in the Light - Part II

[DonH]

Really, if someone seems that enamoured with you without having actually met you in person that is a BIG RED FLAG! Scammer or Love Addict or super-needy. A confident, mature adult will usually be more rational, at least until he has met you. I figure anybody who is so over the top so early has something wrong with them. Sure, when we were kids in our twenties it as all pheromones and fairytales but you want an adult man now, don't you?

I have been thinking the exact same things and having the same conclusions. I mean this is high school or maybe 20 something stuff and talk. Who jumps like this, especially in their 50s? Someone coming on so strong would scare the Bajesus out of me at my age. Is this what woman want to hear? No wonder I’ve never done well OLD.

While I think you really should reconsider and perhaps regret what you allowed to happen, I really don’t think you should blame yourself or your reaction. I just don’t buy this guys story. It just does not all add up to me. I think he was either a scammer, not at all who he claimed - did you video chat with him to confirm he looked like his photos? I just think he made up this excuse. I can’t be totally sure of the reason but it all just screams of cold feet or a player or something. A sincere guy who was legitimately all in would have done more. He would have let you know sooner, been more apologetic, called, etc. and how young is his child? Is he another much younger guy again? Seems out of the ordinary for a guy your age to have a son young enough to have such a meltdown that requires a last minute cancel. And if his son does have struggles like this, why would he plan to be away From him for multiple days in the first place?

Just none of this adds up for me - none of it. I fully admit that I’m way more cautious and way more skeptical of people - especially OLD people. But when things seem just too good to be true, it’s often because they probably are. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I really think you dodged a bullet here. I’d focus more on why you allowed yourself to be sucked in so far and so fast or at least how not to do that again. Was it mostly his looks that got him this far? Again if he never FaceTimed with you I’d say that’s a huge key to why he backed out last minute.