Newlywed and DB-ing (part 3)

[funbun]

It has a month since I've posted something. I am doing well, relatively speaking. It's a matter of managing my mental and emotional well being at this point. I've been reading a lot, learning things about myself and trying to enjoy life. There were good and bad days. On bad days, I just focus on surviving through the day and take it slow. I've been consistently working out, trying to stay fit. I've started personal projects that I've been thinking of doing for a while like learning a song on a guitar, making a short film, learning to ride a skateboard, basically anything that would keep me busy.

WAW asked me to meet up with her yesterday afternoon to sign the D papers. I did. We talked a bit afterwards, it was civil. No R talks. I mentioned that I want to see her family to say my goodbyes and that I have requested to be transferred to a different workplace (we work together FYI). I mentioned that I am planning to announce the D to my friends in social media after everything has settled down, probably three months after D (more on this later).

We have a date for our court hearing now: next week. It's an uncontested D so it'll be a simple process of attending the court once and everything will be final.

I am feeling a lot of different emotions. Mostly grief and anxiety. It's nothing new, and just like before I just have to take my time and process these feelings.

In the evening she texted me and asked for me to reconsider my plan to announce D on SM. A bunch of long texts, but basically, she doesn't want it to be public and wants the M to dissolve silently. She doesn't want people to talk. She doesn't want her parents to face the shame and have to deal with awkward questions about the D. She asks for me to respect her wish to not disclose the D.

I can see her point of view, but I feel that it has to be announced in some way. I see it as closure. I want people to know so that I won't have to explain to every single person that asks if I am still married. I do not want to reopen wounds every time I have to explain it. Sure, people will talk, it will be embarrassing for a while, but like most things, people will forget, it will pass. I also see it as a good step to start a new life. I will be a divorcee. I didn't ask for it, but it is a part of who I am in the future. I will have to live life with that label and live with dignity. I also want people to know that I am single again and I want to open up options for a potential new partner.

At some point in the conversation, I felt that both of us were not budging from our positions, so I ended it will "All I can say right now is I will contemplate on it and will let you know what I decided".

I come to this board again to seek advice on this matter: should I make the announcement for my own sake or should I respect her wishes and keep it private?