Oh Alison. I wish I had wise words for you. I know how much work you've put into this and you sound defeated and oh so very very tired.
Originally Posted by AlisonUK
I don't know if it is that I am generally quite down at the moment and that is colouring the way I see things (and I am - I am very tired and low and just DONE with having to convince the kids to do something other than sit in front of their screens 24/7 as well as try to keep up with my own work and the house stuff) or if I am just disconnected from my marriage.
When I read the phrase "colouring the way I see things" I think back to the dark cloud that hung over my H. The way he saw our life, and in particular my part in it, through a grey filter.
I am going to offer an alternative. Things are opening up again. Why don't you go somewhere on your own. Away from the triggers, the kids in front of their screens, the house stuff, and yes, even your H. One of the advantages of this 'new way of working' is that we can now work from home from anywhere. So book a week somewhere. St Ives or a cottage in Cornwall, If that's too long, book a weekend in centerparcs. Go for bike rides, have some treatments, read books (not about relationships - just some utter rubbish pulp fiction). Leave your life behind you for a few days. Don't overthink. To be honest those thoughts will come anyway, but taken out of the context of home, you'll have the space you need to process.
