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Gigi123 #2901646 08/08/20 10:35 PM
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Generally with cheating spouse's that have moved out it is best to split finances ASAP! However, there maybe legalities. This is another situation where you really need to consult an attorney.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SteveLW #2901686 08/09/20 04:50 PM
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Bigger news here.

H said he started the D papers. I said if that what he wanted to do im not stopping him.

That hit hard though.

Thinks it fate and thats what was meant to happen to us And he knows it tough on me and a difficult time for him to and if i wanted to speak to him i can ring him. He says its bot
Mlc or some sort of crazy decision he has thought long and hard over the past 18 months as our relationship has been breaking down.

I really dont know what to make of it.

Gigi123 #2901687 08/09/20 05:01 PM
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Hi Gigi,

I’m not very familiar with your sitch but wanted to chime in on your recent news.

I’m sorry things have come to this. But just realize there are men out there that would cherish someone like you.

If your H wants to leave, let him. Whether you reconcile with your H later or not, you are going to be just fine.

Thornton #2901688 08/09/20 05:32 PM
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Thank you Thornton!

I know i will be fine In the long run and i will probably meet someone really amazing for me and the boys.

I just know that this will be a long road from here particularly around the children and Who has them when.

Rather difficult to imagine the recon in this situation.

He says a lot of we meed to do this or we need to do that, we need to be amicable and so on. Frankly i dont think there is a wee in there.

Last edited by Gigi123; 08/09/20 05:33 PM.
Gigi123 #2901689 08/09/20 05:40 PM
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You seem to be in a really strong place and that is very attractive for sure. Let him wonder why you are so cool with everything.

Pull that rug out from underneath him... but be prepared for things like... see you don't really need me... you are just fine with out me. He is seeking your validation that you do need him. Instead keep moving forward... that is what gets their attention.

Sorry to hear about D papers. He may start them as a way to manipulate you and then do nothing with them. Take it a moment at a time and hug those kids!

KitCat #2901692 08/09/20 05:44 PM
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Thank you kitcat, i just cant believe we are talking divorce papers and yet my kids dont know anything.

He also said its strange that i see his family and speak to them.

Frankly i don't and nor do they! He is trying to control me and totally isolate me from everyone.

Gigi123 #2901693 08/09/20 05:50 PM
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You don't owe him anything.

You are not required to engage with him on any topic.

Listen, validate if need and refrain from discussing yourself and stay busy!

KitCat #2901694 08/09/20 05:55 PM
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Thank kitcat,

Going to hug my boys to tight!

He was apprently advised IC to keep contact With me to a minimum to make the grieving easier and to allow me space to process all of this and come to terms. So it sounds like he has obv spoken to a professional.

Gigi123 #2901701 08/09/20 06:28 PM
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Gigi, your husband lied, cheated and left you for another woman. I've never understood how him then filing for D is worse than that? It is a legal proceeding. If he ever decides he wants to R, being D'd or not will not prevent that.

So keep your perspective here. I see LBWs in particular struggle with D being a definitive ending. It isn't necessarily and is nothing compared to what he's already put you through.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
SteveLW #2901702 08/09/20 06:33 PM
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You are right Steve!

Ill be honest it was a low blow as he knowS we are going away to see my family specifically to get away from this all. He thinks i have it all too easy! He has said its unfair that i live in this house, have the kids full time and seem very comfortable......

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