I have to start here because I FEEL THE EXACT SAME WAY:
Originally Posted by kml
I know that I would want to know if my spouse was having an affair. Unless you have reason to believe the guy is dangerous, he deserves to know his wife is cheating on him. He deserves to have agency to make key decisions for his own future based on the truth. It may or may not be a strategic decision ( it could break up their marriage, making her more available to your H, or she might try to save her marriage ). But I think it’s just human decency that he deserves to know.
I have been grappling with this issue for months now and it is tearing me apart from a moral standpoint. I would absolutely want to know if OW's H knew and I didn't; and in some ways it feels like I am holding a secret. I would be so grateful if he told me. They too have 4 kids and I am not sure of the state of their marriage, or if he even knows already. My desire to tell him has nothing to do with 'stopping' the EA or blowing things up (if it brings my H and OW closer, good luck to them, I wouldn't want to navigate a relationship built on lies that has 3000 miles and 8 kids between them-- neither can move locations). It has everything to do with not wanting another family to be blown up like mine has. I am still going to sit with this for a little while and make absolutely sure my intent
Regarding our business, H is the 'key man' and it is built upon his skillset. We are an equal property state and it was started in our M so he will have to buy me out when a D happens. I will also get alimony and child support. We have already negotiated that I am keeping the house (and I can afford it for the time being). <<< I love all your wise financial advice, BTW, KML. I have learned so much in what you have posted to Cardinal et al >>>>
