Piecing Myself and Not My Marriage

[may22]

(((Alison)))

It seems to me like communication is a really big issue for the two of you— for him, really, both in listening and in sharing his own feelings. At some point, he is going to have to make a commitment to working on those skills for you two to move forward. He doesn’t seem to either understand or maybe want to understand what he needs to do in order to improve your M and, frankly, keep you.

I know you hated MC but I have to say I agree with unchien— there needs to be some mechanism to learn those communication skills and it isn’t going to happen on its own. Are there other possibilities? Reading a book together or something? I think you can do the Gottman weekend online now.

Do you think it would help for you to sit down with him and clearly and calmly say that he needs to commit to working on communication with you or there isn’t much of a point any more?

Also... my romantic heart sees an alternate scenario, where he does love and cherish you but has no idea how to express it to you and is so trapped in his own head and unhappiness that he simply lashes out whenever his emotions are stirred in any way. And if he could learn to understand and deal with his own emotions, and communicate appropriately about them to you, and listen openly and fully to you... things could be different. But he would have to come to making those changes.

xx M