I believe I have generally been patient, polite, and friendly, but my wife does not care.
MWD says do what works So... How is the above, working out for you? None of those attributes have anything to do with being sexually attractive. You are right. She doesn't care. She isn't going to throw her panties at you, because you are polite and friendly.
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She does not much like, respect, or trust me.
She dated you because of sexual attraction, she married you because of sexual attraction/ provider desire and she had 3 kids with you. if the youngest is over 3, the only thing that is going to motivate her sex drive is her self awareness (.02% chance) , you finding another female ( fear of losing provider/ property possession/ competition desire) , or her finding another male (variety desire). It isn't rocket science. It is very simple biology. We are the only mammal that navel gazes over why a female stops fu<%ing a male that she already procreated with.
If humans were monogamous, we wouldn't have or need marriage contracts. If you want to have a good sexual relationship with a female stop being quasi-intellectual about sex and emotionally pouty about biological desires.
GAL
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My wife's best advice is to spend more time watching TV with her in the evenings, but when I do, it does not seem to count for much. She often falls asleep, and when she is awake, she seems disengaged---either quiet or fiddling with her phone.
Every few weeks we go on a dinner date, and she seems mildly apathetic.
That sounds stimulating.
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She has refused counseling for us or herself, and she thinks I should not read any more relationship books. She does not like romantic gestures, and she will not let me pick a babysitter.
She sounds like your mother/nanny. I know why you want to have sex, but why ... with her? She sounds really really boring, selfish, and unkind.
I constantly read in psychological literature about how females have a higher EQ than men, but the divorce rate says to me, if the majority do have a higher EQ, then they certainly aren't using it for the good or benefit of the family unit. If the psychological literature is correct that the majority have a higher EQ than males, then they must be sociopath's the way they damage their children's future with their behaviors. (pain that is not transformed is transmitted)
Read some of the posts of women who have been cheated on, and notice the recurring theme of, I didn't know how important sex was to men, but I understand now. and put that into computation females have a higher EQ then males.
You will find the equation doesn't sum.
The real translation is I lost my ability to make him suffer with my relationship damaging powerplays, no fair no fair. He is my property, I don't want him to be happy, I want to control him, because I am super insecure and fearful and dependent.
I want you to assume you wife knows how you feel, and what you want.
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We are in our mid-thirties, married for 15 years, have three kids, and have not had any sex since July. Even hugs are rare and brief.
Read what you said. Does she treat her children with the same affection-less neglect?
Would it be ok to you if she left your pet dog in a cage for 20 hrs a day and only took it outside to relieve itself for a few minutes a day? How about 18 hours a day? How about 16 hours? 8 for work and 8 for sleeping?
In your opinion, when does neglect become Abuse? What is your boundary, for not being Abused by someone with a Higher EQ than you? You aren't a dog in a cage, and you aren't property. No one is going to feel sorry for your sad eyes.
p.s. I know you don't know me so I will give you something 1. I've never cheated on a spouse. I am a grownup, who likes to learn and take tests. 2. I have a very very excellent sex life. 3. I love self aware, responsible women of character. I love them repeatedly. :-) I have very little time for ignorant (uneducated) and zero use for stupid (crazy/broken) females (repetitive behaviors define insanity) . You can't fix stupid. He fixed a lot of different types of human suffering, but I doubt even Jesus could or would try to fix stupid by sticking his D!<k in it.
Adult children with emotional dysregulation issues are funny like a trainwreck to watch on tv and movies, but wonder more about yourself, than them, if you want to spend significant time and energy with or on them.
