C'est, I am seeing some good signs here. I am seeing an awakening in you that you deserve more than he is giving you right now. And you are 100% right, you do. No matter what your past mistakes were, you certainly deserve a H who is leaning into the MR, matching your effort and energy, instead of leaning out.
I have to say, the little digs trouble me. As a former "little digger" of my W, that is behavior that is indicative of a selfish, angry, resentful person. When my W started to categorize it as verbal abuse it really opened my eyes (as well as the fact that she wanted a D and wanted to find someone new). Please stand up for yourself. I like the tactic of: "I refuse to be spoken down to like that." calmly and firmly, and then walking away.
You mentioned the IDC attitude and the effect it has on him. Go read the pursuit-distance thread. It is a real psychological phenomenon most of us experienced through our sitch. WASs are like cats. Go for them and they will run from you. Sit still and act like you don't care if they jump up on you or not, and they will usually jump on up.
Keep up your list! Also, are you in IC? Self-esteem being affected by other people is something you need to work through. You should know your own worth, regardless of what he says or does.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
