Is it the least bit possible you needed to seek from validation from your step kids?
I think what Steve is getting at is that the meeting seemed more to be about how your kids viewed your H and how they viewed you. That it almost seems like a tie to him and you wanted to know a part of that still recognizes all you did and you weren’t tossed aside by them as well.
I don’t have stepkids. I dated 2 guys who kids I fell in love with and them me. And it was heart breaking when they were gone without me getting to say goodbye. I am sure you cared for his kids very much and didn’t want to lose them as well as your H.
It seems like the biggest thing you took out this meeting is validation.
My daughters stepmother is the OW who has been in her life since she was a baby. If they were ever to divorce, I would fully support and help my D have a relationship with her. So I get that part.
Just be mindful of your deeper seated hopes form these interactions you might not be aware of
