My EX has a similar history of having very close friends and then having the relationship completely implode. Or sometimes she lets those people back in, even after they have treated her poorly. Lately, in our D, I have noticed her drawing near to people who she used to bad-mouth about all the time.
When she does have close friends, it is a warm relationship. She is not cold and mean to everybody all the time. Sounds similar to your case.
I don't obsess about this, but it does boggle my mind how this happens. I always knew there were high-conflict D's, but figured one of the people was "crazy" or "vindictive" or "calculating" and whoever married that person was naive and gullible. I don't think I'll ever really understand, and I'm okay with that.
Anyways... it's full-blown L time for the next few months for me while we sort this out.
