The takeaway, I guess, is that all of these behaviors you're listing are all about him, and not you, even though it may feel personal. We have to remember that!
This is very good for me to read and re-read. I remember typing early on that the silence in the house is deafening. I didn’t think it would get even worse. It’s now at a point where there is zero interaction. Not even a hello or good morning. I think being full on ignored is a tough one for me to not take personally...even though deep down I think I do know it’s not about me.
What do other people do? Just give him the space and ignore back ...I can’t even bring myself to,say good morning or start convo anymore to get no reply or a grumpy grunt of some sort. Ignoring him seems so rude but I didn’t do this. It’s so extreme now I swear he sits in the basement and waits for me to come upstairs to enter any common areas. In one way I guess it’s good because it limits the chance of getting spewed at but it just makes me shake my head.
I started this journey with so much love, compassion and Patience (hence my title) but I’m lost. I can still find love for who he was but certainly not this version of him. I feel like my compassion and patience is wearing thin. Everyday as home time approaches the pit of doom returns to my stomach for what I might face next.
I’m nervous and shocked that the neighbours haven’t asked anything yet. We live In a quiet Well kept area. It is impossible that they haven’t noticed all of the crazy stuff going on, the constant different vehicles, extra vehicles on the road, trailers, etc. I know I should just focus on me but I’m struggling with all the constant changes when I pull onto my street and enter the house. Wondering “who, what, why” is not GAL behaviour but I’m also staying busy between a crazy work schedule right now and my hobbies, I Just find my mind constantly comes back to analyzing the situation right now.
