Had lunch with SS20 and S19... SD19 actually had wanted to come too and that news just made my heart burst with joy. Sadly SS20 fell asleep and I had to call so he woke up said he would be right at the resturant told his sister who was also asleep she had 2 min to get ready (well... that isn't ever happening!!!) So SS20 was alone.
He looked worn out and overwhelmed but I reminded myself he did just wake up.
First words out of his mouth after sorry for being late ---- his fiance' is pregnant.
WHAT???? When did GF become Fiance'???? How did I miss that?
There was nothing on FB and SS20 went on to say they were telling all the important people before the d*uches/FB. That warmed my heart that I was "important people".
My goal was to not say H word at all but I was not expecting that "your dad will be so over the moon... he is ready for grandkids"... but no response from SS20 and didn't even look at me. My bad... moving on.
Found out that he bought the ring months before but just proposed a few days ago at the family farm (how sweet!). He tells the story of how he told his grandparents... super cute and both of them didn't get it at first... lol. He also told his uncle but it went right over his head... NO ONE IS EXPECTING THIS!
Turns out he has NOT told H... I was like what??? And he repeated that he told he was telling all the important people before the douches.... HOLY COW.... SS20 and H had been rebuilding their relationship over the last 2yr and it had been really good even when I was contact with SS20 back in March/April..
SS20 went on to say he went to lunch with H and was completely grossed out by him... he was saying this like sticking his duck here and there. Now, SS20 and H could always get on the rowdy side and many times I would reel them in stating they are at the kitchen table. Things I would call locker room talk/or hanging with the guys. So - for SS20 to say it was gross and nasty was an eye opener.
And, then SS20 went on to state that OW was sitting right there next to him while he was saying all this and he just didn't get that or her for the matter. He looked at me and said "I don't know what's going on with dad... its like he is having some sort of horny midlife crisis"
Wow...
I just said yeah... I don't know either... don't know much about her except she heavily pursued your dad. SS20 was like she knowingly went after a married man??? Yeah... and just moved the convo right along.
Please bear in mind that SS20 and I didn't have the best relationship while he was growing up. I was the evil "step mom" in his eyes... and I admit I was a little hard on him. He had gotten into some trouble and wasn't anywhere close to his potential. In his defense now while I gave him credit for how hard it had to have been going between your parents home I should have given it way more... I don't think there is a parent out there who doesn't have some regrets or would choose to do something different.
^^^ So with that in mind I'm surprised that he would say anything about his lunch with dad to me that was negative like that.
Well thanks for letting me unload all that. Writing it out is helpful to get it out and not stew too much.
TAKE AWAYS 1) I had a nice lunch with SS20 2) Sounds like I might have a chance to get SD19 out for lunch sometime 3) It was a nice day but it in no ways changes anything about my sitch... I have continue to work on letting go and not communicating with H.
I need a nap now!
Last edited by job; 08/06/2012:10 PM. Reason: edited a word
