He’s responsible for ceding control of that decision to you for convenience. Unless, of course, you used powers of hypnosis, brainwashing, or exerting some other form of nefarious control over him.
If you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain.
THIS. This resonates with me so much, and hopefully with you too KC. My H has a mountain fo resentment against me going back for years about times he felt I controlled decisions. For the vast majority of those examples he hangs on to, I can specifically recall practically badgering him by checking into make sure “are you SURE you are ok with this?” Literally saying to him “I’m worried if you don’t give your input you will resent me later”. Sure enough, he has held on to so many of those little moments as controlling on my part, despite my begging him to weigh in.
If you don’t vote you dont get to complain. YES. AND. You don’t get to label your partner as controlling afterward, because somebody has to be the one to step up and make the adult decisions. SIIIIIGGGHHHHHH.
KC, I get where you are coming from, I truly do. The best you can do is work on what you view as your controlling behaviors, separate from what your H may think or say.
True and well said. But, sadly my H is right. Did I even give him the chance to vote? Did he feel he had the chance to vote? I think sometimes he did not and it was just easier to go along with me rather than deal with conflict?
My H was far from perfect. In fact he could be a real A**. But, can't we all?
I have to take ownership and ultimately even if I didn't think I was controlling... that is how he felt. And I can't tell him his feelings are wrong.
I'm taking baby steps forward but still having shooting painful images of how out right disrespectful I could be at times. I just cringe... was that really me?
