Had a consult with a different lawyer today—not the one I met with months ago. It left me feeling worse, honestly. The main thing I am worried about is staying in the rental house, as I am in a much more financially precarious situation than H and our rent hasn’t risen in years so is much lower than the current market, not to mention leaving would mean leaving our chickens and the neighborhood cats I care for. L said the court won’t make a decision or ask either party to leave the house, so it will be up to us to come to an agreement. He’s suggested something I might be able to bargain with, but H is so set on staying here, I don’t know if that would even help. L seemed to think even though an old car was given to both of us by H’s mom it could be considered inheritance and therefore his separate property, so that could be an issue.
I want someone to help me stay in this house so I can stay in this state as I transition to new career, as I have connections here to help me get started in that. I just need more time to keep applying, for more jobs to open up. If a L can’t help me with that big issue...? 5k retainer just to start. I could petition court for H to pay L fees and perhaps get some reimbursed later, but, again, if the law can’t help me stay in my home, I’m even more discouraged at the prospect of giving so much money we don’t have to a L, escalating things with H and maybe making him even less willing to negotiate.
I feel like you all understand why mediation sounds good but might be a lost cause if H has refused it many times. You understand why I can’t just work things out with H. You understand what I’m up against, and I don’t know if an hour consult with a L made it clear how irrational my H is being, though the L did say it sounds like he has a fantasy idea of D in which he doesn’t have to give me anything.
The L I really wanted can still do mediation with us but can’t represent either one of us as L, because we both consulted with her to get basic info early on. I have a second consult with a L I consulted with a few months ago next week, so I guess I’ll see if I get a different feeling from meeting with her.
Basically, I feel there is no end in sight. H won’t leave, and I will be living here with him indefinitely, while nothing moves forward with D (assuming he actually files this time).
Kindly, I wanted my meeting to make me feel empowered and businesslike, but instead I feel vulnerable and like I won’t be able to convey to anyone accurately how H is trying to bully me.
