Thanks DnJ, Job, and Deja for your support and encouragement. I will continue to need it as I navigate these new waters. I'm not afraid of the journey ahead, but find myself feeling short moments of anxiety. I try to stay in the present.
Originally Posted by DnJ
Non-judgemental and compassionate.
I've got the compassion down, but judement is agressive in trying to take a foothold. I am resisting, and know that as things unfold, and more openess prevails, it may become more agressive. I will persevere in overcoming it.
Originally Posted by DnJ
H will be his own harshest critic. He will seek to make restitution for his actions, in time.
I am a bit concerned about this, as he has said on more than a few occassions that he will have to live with the guilt and shame the rest of his life. I have told him he doesn't, but he will need to find that out himself. If he doesn't release it, I fear that he will revert to the person he was running from in the first place. I know that I have absolutely no control over this, and will have to let him figure it out.
Originally Posted by job
What wonderful news! This will be a brand new marriage and you and your h have changed so much since he walked out. Try to be very patient as he is going to still be a bit emotionally fragile for quite some time.
The potential for newness is exciting, and so far our interactions encouraging. He is present, listens, and we both are feeling free to express ourselves truthfully. I do find myself inpatient for dealing with some of the past, and am unsure how to nagivate that - including discussing things I'm not sure he knows that I know. I'm digging for patience in waiting for instructions from God. That's probably the best way to go for now.
Deja - we came to this board about the same time. Our journeys are different, but the same in some ways too. How far we have come!
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Your H is very lucky you hung in there.
Yes, he is!
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
OW sounds like a nightmare!!
Yes, she is. She is coniving and mean. H knew some of this before he even moved in with her. I hope H will work through what compelled him to hang on to something that made him so very unhappy. He has mentioned his running from his guilt, shame, and self, and thought starting with a clean slate would help. He realized it made him feel worse.
But I realize she is a very broken person, and don't wish her ill will. I have prayed for her from time to time, but just try not to think about her too much. Seems the best way going forward.
