PS - Unless you intentionally deceived him, your ex-husband is equally responsible for deferring parts of the car-purchasing experience to you instead of using an expert or his own judgment, and whatever the consequences of that were. I’m baffled for why you continue to try to carry burdens and responsibilities that are not yours to carry alone.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I was controlling.
He’s responsible for ceding control of that decision to you for convenience. Unless, of course, you used powers of hypnosis, brainwashing, or exerting some other form of nefarious control over him.
If you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain.
I should have just let my H pick out the car --- it was to be a commuting car for him and what S19 would drive.
H got to the point where he just never would say no to me but would instead stuff it down and let the resentment build until it boiled over in his sleep deprived highly stressed state... it was so unhealthy. Sure its not 100% my responsibility but I do feel I put a lot of pressure on H to work to keep cranking out the OT... He became so angry and half asleep and he HATED the drive. He felt trapped and imprisoned.
Sure he has to take some responsibility in that but I'm dealing with a lot of emotional images of my behavior that I'm absolutely ashamed of...
I think all this "niceness" is to make up for how rotten I feel about the person I became... I'm working on getting those layers peeled back to woman I was when we met and married. I think I just need to get it through my thick head he is not interested any longer in any shame or guilt I feel for how I treated him toward the end.
Anyway, I should have deferred to my H more. I just should have said go get your car. For craps sake when we were first married I told him to go buy a car. I never went with him. He just brought a car home. How did I go from sending my H out to controlling him with print outs of 3 options??? WHAT HAPPENED TO ME???
