So it’s been about 6 weeks (maybe more, as I don’t remember the date nor do I care about that) since H has left OW.
Much has occurred. Much has been shared.
It is obvious to me that H has made some significant revelations about himself, what is important in life, and how he wants to live the rest of his life. He is taking a peek at Christ, and seeing what He is all about. HE is working on H very purposefully.
H is morphing into a new person.
I like it.
He hired an attorney to take care of the condo mess. A day after OW filed a restraining order against him. Papers were served a week and a half later by the cops at our home. He doesn’t live here, so the kids had to address it and redirect them to where he is living. H had 2 days to secure an attorney and prepare before court. It was a pure retaliation move, she had no representation, and she wasn’t prepared for the 100+ pages presented by H’s attorney of messages she sent H in the aftermath. Crazy stuff, including things like “if you come back, I won’t file any charges”.
It was thrown out of course, and was only a momentary irritation.
H and I have spent quite a bit of time together. Hanging out, sharing meals, and talking, talking, talking. He has joined me at church 3 times. Today we both felt like the message was meant for us. Quite remarkable.
We have agreed to put 100% (he said 110%) into full reconciliation.
I believe it will be so. H has said he believes it will be so.
I have no illusions that this will be an easy road. But we are both so very hopeful.
D21 has a lot to deal with, and seems to be looking for things to attack on. I truly believe she is looking for things to blame for her depression and anxiety, which are completely unrelated to her dad. We have discussed this, and she may be ready for a more intensive program.
We are starting the transition to H moving home, probably at the end of the month. I am paving the way for D21 especially, so she has the space and freedom to interact with her dad, and the family, as she feels comfortable doing so. We have a large unused space that we are making into her office/retreat. I am giving her full choice in when/how she interacts with her dad, with the only stipulation that she is polite at the very least. We spent the entire day last week celebrating the kids birthday as a family. It was really nice. H was here for a meal today, which was also pleasant. Baby steps.
I admitted to H that I am a bit nervous about him coming home. Not just for us, but the whole family dynamic. I will not fight normal feelings, and will just take one day at a time. Our get-togethers have been comfortable, and we have been very open in our discussions, which is freeing and encouraging. H has a lot of baggage that he is still unpacking, but I believe God has us on a good path right now. HE spoke to us during services today, and H listened. H suggested we start marriage counseling, and we will probably do so soon. I think we will need the relationship with a therapist during this reconnection phase especially. Lots of the past needs to be dealt with and out in the open so it can’t have control over either of us any more. Best to do it with a referee. And slowly, slowly, slowly.
I am peaceful and hopeful. I remain the beacon of light for my family. God showers us with his blessings, for which I am so thankful. He will see us along the bumpy path, and continue to pick us up when we stumble.
