Good job on validating and listening!!! Its hard not to defend... seriously hard. But, the more your H feels heard the more he will probably open up to you and be vulnerable.
As for no mention of D... he is likely taking baby steps. He had no idea how you would react to his convo. If you truly acted as if and validated it probably confused the heck out of him as he was expecting a kick back.
Good for you looking to a future with options!!!! That can be so very hard to do in these situations.
They say the fastest way to get someones attention is to remove them from yours.
Keep up the PMA and loving those kids. Focus on you because that is where attraction lies. You got this!
