Hi Cardinal! I’ve finally been able to catch up on your thread. I honestly don’t even know what to say ...but wanted to offer my support to let you know that once again I could have written word for word everything you have, right down to what you are struggling with. My hiatus was due to work and life taking over but also truthfully because my mind has been stuck in a swirling vortex. I’ve been facing, questioning and reliving so many things. I too have been stuck on the following (which I will post on my own site for the record):
-reconciling with the truthful elements of what he spews and taking TOO MUCH responsibility for it ending our M -obsessing over where the man I married went -trying to stop speculating as to why his family and a couple friends specifically have fallen away since March; what is he telling them? -why he is so focused on selling the house when FA/ separation has not been presented yet
And to sum it all up, the big one is how much longer can I live with him if I don’t get back to letting go and dropping the rope fully. Everything affects me so much again.
The one big thing I do want to offer is that I was really hesitant and against getting a L in the beginning but he forced my hand by getting one right away. Taking everyone’s advice from here to get one is the best thing I did.
I don’t know how L works there but I wanted to let you know that you only pay for what they do.....so in other words I consulted one, but then didn’t go back until I did all of my own leg work with my finances. The less they do the less you get charged obviously....so because H is moving backwards with this process all my info has just been sitting waiting for him to take the lead....Don’t get me wrong it still [censored] and I’m passed off about the $ part of it daily BUT I think as Dnj and others have said it’s business and the number one business here is protecting yourself.
Doesn’t matter that you didn’t have a job as lucrative as his, I don’t believe it matters that’s the cars are in his name ...esp if you sold yours and took over one....it’s all marital assets and should be spilt 50/50. A L will (should) arm you with info and I can speak from experience it takes one stress off the head knowing a professional is looking out for your best interests $. I’m freshly on this part and though the laws may differ slightly, feel free to ask me anything and if I can offer anything I’d love to.
Also MOST importantly, hope you had an awesome (belated) happy Birthday and I would have loved to enjoy a piece of that cheesecake with you!!!!
Just wanted to let you know that someone is travelling the same path with you. Big ((((hugs)))) you’re doing well! Kindly
P.s thank you to all of the contributors here ...I may not write a lot on other people’s sites but I read a lot.I’ve actually written down some of the wise words offered that I find super helpful. Your advice is invaluable.
