My WW is not in a MLC but I understand you’re feelings. She seems to be pretty happy without me and like you I fall into that trap of saying yes I know I need to focus on me but what I really want is her and it’s a crippling pain to think the person you love most seems to be happier without you.
I feel for you and I’m really sorry you’re going through it. I had one of those days yesterday where my heart felt like it breaking and then re breaking every ten minutes. I’m so sorry.
I will say that it won’t last forever. You will have moments of peace. Maybe not many right now but they will come. In those moments try to realize that it’s not your fault. It’s really not.
All the things you mentioned that have contributed to your sitch could have pushed you to do what your husband is doing but guess, what it didn’t. You have remained committed and have stuck to the fact that your marriage was a lifelong commitment. That says something great about you and your character. No one can take that away from you.
You think your great? Know that you are great!
The hardest thing for me is to accept that no matter how much you love someone or how great you are you have no control over what they do and the things they want.
I read a quote on here that said something along the lines of sometimes you can be the person only a fool would leave and your spouse will leave anyways. It doesn’t mean you’re not great. It just means your spouse is a fool that would leave a great person.
That is not on you though.
You’ll get through this one way or the other.
You never know what could happen. He’s shown you he can change his mind once, there’s nothing stopping him from changing it again.
The best thing you can do is to become that person that only a fool would leave. I always try to expect the worse outcome and then imagine what actions can I take now that will allow me to hold my head high even in the worst outcome.
