Things to consider with the house:
(You don’t have to sell it until the last thing in the divorce, if you do end up selling it. )

Positives of keeping the house:
Your memories are there
You like the neighborhood
You could rent a bedroom out for extra income
You’re in California so if you kept the house you’d keep your low property tax (I’m assuming you bought your house for considerably less than what it would cost today. )

Negatives of keeping the house:
You’re in a community property state so you have to buy him out of his half of the equity. Can you actually afford the payments if you do that? Can you qualify for a new mortgage to cover that? Also you were married 30 years and your payments are low so I’m assuming the house is older - will you have the money it takes to keep up the house? (Right now my house needs a new dishwasher, new fences, replacement of two wooden awnings, some window repair, outside paint, ...... you get the picture).

Property values are high right now so if you trade something for his share of the house equity - say, giving up your claim to his pension - you face the risk of the house depreciating in value in the looming financial crisis. Even bigger is the risk that you might get in a financial jam in the next couple years and have to sell it in a down market and lose some of that equity.

Examples:
Scenario 1) imagine there’s $600k in housing equity in a house worth $700k. You sell the house and split it. Costs of selling the house are split between you both (6% realtor fees, repairs etc) so you end up with $280k.You pay capital gains on $30k of that and end up with $275,500. You rollover your share of the house equity into a small condo worth 300k. Your property tax is about the same as it was in the house but your mortgage is small or nonexistent. You do have to pay condo fees. You don’t have to pay for big outside repairs and maintenance though. You also have your share of his pension to help secure your future.

Scenario 2) You trade your $300k interest in his pension for his half of the house. Now you have $600k in house equity. You keep your low property tax bill but have to pay for unexpected repairs and save for large maintenance items like new flooring and a new roof, new water heater etc. You also have to save like heck to try to build up some retirement savings. You offset some of those expenses by renting out a room.

Scenario 3) You trade the pension for the house as above. Two years from now you’re unemployed and can’t make the payments. You sell the house for what it was valued at in the divorce . However now you have to pay all the fees involved in selling, not half, so you only get $560k equity, not 600k. You roll $300k into buying that small condo but have to pay capital gains taxes on the remaining $260k, reducing it to $221,000. You end up where you would have been in scenario 1 except with $79k less in retirement savings.

Scenario 4) You trade the pension for the house as above. The housing market crashes like it did last time and you lose your job so you have to sell the house. It’s now only worth $600k so you only get $465k out if it after selling costs. You buy the condo which now only costs $250k and pay capital gains taxes on the rest so you end up with $172k - worth much less than your share of the pension, which was worth $300k.

Scenario 5) You keep your interest in the pension and take out a mortgage loan to buy him out of the house. Your mortgage payment increases by $1600 a month and you will be paying on your mortgage for the next 30 years. You will have your share of the pension payments at retirement,

Except in an environment of rapidly increasing home values (which is not likely to be the case in the immediate future as homes are so overvalued in So Cal right now) it’s seldom the right move for someone in your age group to keep the house unless you have a high paying job and can easily afford to buy him out.

I know that it’s emotional letting go of it, but also consider whether you’d want to live there with his ghosts if you divorce. I had to agree to sell the house in the divorce because I couldn’t afford to buy him out. I bought a house in a less expensive suburb and have a small mortgage payment. I am receiving my share of his pension now that he’s retired. If I hadn’t had other people I needed to house (over the last 11 years, at various times, I’ve had my mom, two of my adult sons, and a boyfriend with cancer living with me) I could have bought a smaller townhouse and been mortgage free.

Consider running different scenarios with your figures. Ask a math-savvy friend or your accountant for help if it’s not your thing. I also really like the Ultimate Retirement Calculator at the Financial Mentor site to run quick retirement scenarios and see how different decisions would affect my financial future.