I echo what everyone else has said and also want to welcome you here...at the same time, sorry you are here. Keep the focus on you ATL and make the goal about improving you. That way, with or without the marriage, you will be okay in the end. My XH never used the word separation or divorce either...right up until the day he presented me with a separation agreement. Prior to that, even when I asked him directly, he refused to say the word. We are divorced now and rocking the coparenting thing. And I am happier than I have been in years. Two years ago, I would NEVER have believed I could be this happy and divorced but if you keep the focus on you and do the work, it is entirely possible. Anyway...I hope you are able to save your marriage and if you take the advice of the people on this board, that will be your best chance. However, if you can’t save your marriage, please, please, please save yourself. If you do this, you will be okay no matter how things turn out. (((HUGS)))
