Husband Living a Double Life

[MoGirl]

I can't nice H back and when I call him on his B.S., he gets angry and threatens me with we're done, we're not going to talk or see each other again.

I calmly told him that I knew about his and OW secret FB page, and he flips out and tells me he doesn't know what I'm talking about, and then proceeds to tell me he interviewed for a job on the east coast (we live in the Midwest) and he was undecided about taking it but now I have pushed him over the edge with this accusation and he's definitely done. He says he is stressed and his blood pressure is so high that I am going to give him a heart attack. Whatever...his stress is self-imposed. Honestly, I did not go snooping for their secret FB pages. My daughter found them and told me. Then I couldn't help myself and snooped. Ugh!!!!! Not blaming her. I am taking responsibility for my part. I could have left that info alone and never looked at it....but I didn't and here we are.

I don't want a divorce. I want to try and fix this, even if it doesn't work out at least I can say I tried. Now he's leaving and I will never get the opportunity. I'm so stupid...and pathetic...and needy..and desperate. Why can't I let this/him go? It's been 8 months and I'm tired.

I don't want to be alone. I want to be in a relationship with someone who loves me and respects me. I'm so scared of never finding love again that I am willing to settle for a lying, cheating, disrespectful @$$hole, who doesn't give a $h!t about me.