Dreadfully Optimistic

[ovrrnbw]

I think you're in a great spot compared to many here.

No ILYs for now unless she says it first.

She has a really good job, and makes way more than i can even if i have a job

Well I don't believe this. You can make more if you want to but it won't happen with this attitude.

Get a job or start your business. Work hard. If you can't make enough, work harder and smarter and figure out what works. There's a gazillion banks and lenders out there waiting to help entrepreneurs and all the wealthiest folks I know did not go to college. All are self employed.

She never mentioned the D word, good. You don't either.

The counselor now wants to meet with my wife solo, which my wife gladly said she would, and I’m scared as to what’s going to come out of that.

I wouldn't sweat it. You don't and won't know what goes on there and it doesn't change what you need to do which is be attractive (real attraction not the fufu stuff), be successful and become a major contributor in the household, learn how to interact with women and validate.

I would resent my spouse for not putting out effort. If you can't make money you make up by doing other things and "putting out". When everyone puts out and doesn't make excuses teams function at a high level. When individuals get lazy or undisciplined teams fall apart. This will help in the sex department when she sees you taking charge and accomplishing stuff. Then you get in better shape, have better hygiene, dress better, walk and talk with confidence, learn how to smile at everyone (not sure if you know what I mean but it worked for me before I was married).


None of that advice includes worrying about her thoughts or state of mind or pressuring her, that won't work.

You got this.