The affair thing... I am not having an affair, and I have no suspicions that she is having one either. I'll save the famous last words like "oh if you knew her you'd know she wouldn't" etc. Since her office closed to remote work in FEB, she's always home, and I'm unemployed so I'm always home. She could have been pulling off some lunch break shenanigans before C19, but I really really doubt it. Also, she just took a new job where she's 100% remote... She doesn't go out with her girlfriends, and our son usually goes with them.
I confess that much of our issues stem from me; health problems; severe sleep apnea which went undiagnosed until over a year ago, and the depression mentioned earlier. I have both under control, and the difference startles even me. Now that I finally got it, I want to really fix things, but she has little to no reason to believe me. Like the book said, I'm using actions, not words.
That said, how can you BEST handle the D bomb? I haven't found any resource for that.
Unless it's counter productive, I'd like for her to know... 1. I don't want to (which she already knows, but something says I should reiterate that) 2. I want us both happy (that's all that matters, right?) 3. I believe that now, more than ever, that we can make it work
What I don't want to do 1. Beg, bargain, plead, be clingy, cry 2. Say anything that convinces her she's doing the right thing 3. Be so scared that I'm dismissive
So that I don't do any of the "don't want to" I'd like a good script I can work off of.
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will let it pass over me. When the fear has gone, there shall be nothing. Only I will remain."
