Thank you. One thing, he will not see or hear me cry.
I am going to take what both of you offered and go with it. Today, right now, I am home on lunch. I look around and I see our dogs, the tv (on home improvements) and my backyard. I am here in this moment. It is like every other day. He is not usually home at lunch. This is my time.
I really need to think about what I want to do. One thing, our gyms are closed here so I ordered a peloton. It will be something I own and I won’t need to pay for a gym once we are able to return. I am very excited about that. Another thing, I really want to paint our (now mine) bedroom. I need to start making a list of things I would like to do around here, even if they are super out of price, just to plan it as a dream. As for other hobbies, I am such a homebody and this Covid has not helped. I normally like to go to baseball games with friends, concerts movies, etc. being in So Cal there is so much to do, and we can’t. I have been ready doing puzzles and catching up onntv shows on the weekends.
I really believe that this new action from him is fueled by a new OW. But it doesn’t matter, because when it fizzles out, I need to be in the throws of a huge GAL. Being my best self.
I feel better ever typing this.
I am still sad, but now is not going to be my designated sad time.
