Weird Question

[bttrfly]

Well an update-journaling

I spoke with an attorney and have given a sketch of our finances and situation to see where I could stand in the event of a D. I am not filing, but I am the type of person who needs to have something to hold on to.

You are wise to find out this info now.

I just want him in my life as my partner.

I understand. We can want something desperately and still not get it. To that end, yes, we have to focus on GAL.

Does anyone have any help to get through the crippling fear? I am just a tidal wave of emotions, realizing that he believes being out of our marriage will make him happy. Like he will eventually leave and never return. He won’t have a key. He won’t wonder about me. I will be in the rear view mirror as he drives off to his happiness. If our daughter gets married I would possibly see him with someone else who he is happy with.

I am so sad. I can’t stop crying. I hate this feeling.

I can tell you what I did. It didn't stop the fear, but I somehow got through it.

1. I had to force myself to keep it in the day, sometimes the hour, sometimes the moment. That was the most helpful practice. Look at your feet. Where are you? Look around the room. Is he there? Then focus only on what is there.
This takes a lot of practice but it's worthwhile.

2. The LBS is on their own journey. Think about what YOU want. Yes, I know you want him as your partner. Think more specifically - what type of life do you want to live? What are your core values? How do you want to be treated in a relationship. What is important to you?

3. what physical activity can you do to get the stress out of your body? Swimming, yoga, walking, something else?

4. Do not plan more than a week out.

5. Give yourself permission to freak out for a certain amount of time each day. Stick to that. Maybe an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening.

6. Focus on breathing.

7. meditate

8. pray

That worked for me. Hope it helps
I'm sorry you're here and in this situation. It's dreadful.