Doing my thing & moving forward

[Pack_19]

hi all,

Just wanted to chime in to show my admiration for all of you posting on this thread. Many of you seem to be in that place where you can abstract yourselves from the situation that is happening, seeing it objectively and with better perspective.

The hardest part has been to come to terms with the fact that the current H is a different person. I know in this forum we talk about hope and expectations often and how those two affect us LBSes. I'm not shutting that door on hope. The old him is in there somewhere I'm sure. My love for him is still in me also, somewhere. Our history and feelings for each other cannot be erased that easily.

I have read with interest about the thoughts on the man/woman we married is still in there and the love for him/her is well sheltered. I think this same thought has hurt me a lot in the sense of creating false expectations and the way I have approached my WAW. It seems to be an honorable feeling but yet it contradicts the lessons Sandi has tried to push in my head that she is a different person and my past W is "dead". what are your thoughts on this?

As per the pettiness with financial issues I have experienced very similar things. Yet when I sat down with my L and told her the story about the house we are buying and our S, she mentioned all of that had to be included in the legal agreement. This led my W to feel it was me one who made money a big deal. Isn't is a contradiction? in the personal and spiritual side you want to raise above the wayward behavior but on the legal side you need to make a stand and protect yourself from this mess. Am I making sense? these are the things that I really struggle to process in terms of how I should behave in the situation I am.

Sorry I did not mean to bring up my sitch, just had some thoughts I wanted to share after reading your posts.I send hugs to all.