Me: 50 W: 47 S 16, D 13 M 28 years (1992) Jan 2018 - BD June 2019 - She moved out May 2020 - Told me she will initiate D
My viewpoint: Met at university, got married about a year after finishing. We had a long time finding work, ended up deciding that whoever got a job first, the other person would move to where they are. I eventually secured a job six weeks out from our wedding. Went into a hugely busy job with long hours and many deadlines. Friends in same industry in similar situations. Felt trapped - family responsibilities, job expectations, difficulty in obtaining the role in the first place. Parents owned their own businesses; long hours etc part of my 'normal' life experience. Worked hard to support family, pay off mortgage and establish financial security. Mentally and physically fatigued a lot of the time. Downtime and time for self limited, neglected church and health. W seemed disinclined to do things together so relaxation activities were reading, watching TV, playing on the computer - but all done where I could be in the same room as W. Did the best I knew at the time but ignorant of love languages, held a 50/50 mindset and lacked a servant heart for my W. No discussions initiated by either about what we wanted out of life, how MR should look, where we wanted to live, etc. W very supportive always. Kisses, I love yous, etc every day to each other until "I want a divorce" BD. Did not see it coming, especially as W a faithful Christian all her life. I never thought either of us would consider it an option.
W viewpoint: Workaholic H largely absent, making her feel like she was not the priority. Boring home life, few holidays etc. Felt she was only wanted as a housekeeper. Family live far away in another state. Deep desire to see them thwarted by lack of money in early years. I don't love you --> I haven't loved you for years --> I never loved you --> I didn't even love you when we got married.
