I helped my H see her side of things --- I was not emotionally involved so it was easier to me to see both sides. H will be the first to admit that I really helped him in understanding his rights to see his own kids (he was badly manipulated by his XW) And, for him to understand what she was dealing with.
NOW - I never took her side over my H. I always supported my H 100%.
AND - over the years I got to experience first hand why my H felt the way he did about his XW. I got to see first hand how she manipulated her children and how often once she got what she wanted out of a compromise or switch she would suddenly try to change the rules.
^^^^ Anyway, I do appreciate that my H speaks fondly of me and has good memories in regards to supporting him to be an extremely involved parent with his kids despite some pretty awful roadblocks that were sent our way. At the same time I appreciate that H shared his children with me... I loved being a family of 5! (now, the later I have never expressed to him in the way I just stated here and I'm not sure that I will ever get to express that directly to him as now is not the time.)
As for denial.... not so sure I'm making all that much progress but it is what it is and I'm trying to focus on one day at a time.
