If the "recreational drug" is causing you to obsess (and yes, thinking about him a lot is obsessing" then I would recommend finding another GAL activity. I tell LBSs that drink all the time, do not drink during your sitch. (I am staunchly anti-alcohol and anti-drug for full disclosure) because you need to be clear-thinking and sober-minded in order to DB well. Think of all the late-night drunken voice messages left for exs through the decades since answering machines (now voicemail) were popular. Many a jilted lover has regretted phone calls and leaving messages for their ex the next morning. (I may or may not be speaking from experience here.....-whistle whistle whistle-).
Plus there is a tendency to "mask" your pain through drugs and alcohol. The problem with that is the next day you wake up, feel like crap physically, and the pain was still there waiting for you when you came out of the high.
Again, none of us ever claimed that D was easy. That is why this forum exists. But it is all part of the process. Just get through your portion and have the L send it to H. REMEMBER: IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO GET YOUR H TO FILL OUT HIS PORTION!!
Haha... yes... my entire life - just say NO to drugs... LOL! That was me. I just found it interesting that I nearly rationalize and have previously why I need to send this or that or contact my H... but when on recreational buzz I am very strong and say "not today.... not falling for it today... he doesn't deserve to hear from you"... It was just a weird irony???
I have to say I'm much more likely to NOT text/call under those circumstances.
Either way GAL is difficult in the time of COVID so one must get creative.
I'm hanging in there. Today is going to be very rough... I've got to figure out how I'm going to get my kid to school all on my own - no H and no S19 father at this point. And, it burns me because this kid has been working hard since the 3rd grade - he is an A student, Eagle Scout... and his two major male role models are being the biggest pricks right now.
