Any reason you haven't hired a PI by now to settle the matter?
That is being strongly considered now to hopefully get closure on this. I already found many suspicious phone records from well before the BD that confirm who I've long suspected is the OM. But, the early snooping and confronting I did post BD most likely made her hide her tracks even more. I stopped snooping and just focused on improving myself and being a great Dad.
Anyway, I did not bring up the guide book while we were away. The only reason I brought it up here was to vent a bit for myself. There's been many examples of this type of gaslighting over the past year. It just gets to a point where I've found myself in awkward situations where my kids are around and I still make mistakes with not validating well. Stoically replying: "we'll have to agree to disagree" would have been a good way to end that discussion.
Most of the vacation went well. We did a lot of family activities together and we each really just focused our attention on the kids. She did make a lot of unprovoked jabs at me that I ignored for the most part. I'd say we were pretty civil. But, it gets really tiring to have some pleasant family time disrupted by some jabs. It did feel pretty strained whenever others weren't around, and as soon as the kids went to bed, she did too. I didn't pursue at all - did a lot of odd jobs around the house and in downtime would go play my guitar, go for a bike ride, or a solo hike.
Our anniversary is coming up very soon and I'm not sure how to handle it. My D actually reminded us in the car, which made it a bit awkward. I don't plan on doing anything. But, I'm a little worried about the optics since my D will likely talk about our anniv that day.
We had typically gotten each other cards and a traditional gift. Last year, she didn't give me a card, but gave me a present with the tags still on it in a plastic garbage bag. She also didn't reach out to me that day to say happy anniv. I initiated it. This was was completely uncharacteristic of her. She had always been the one to make a big deal about exchanging cards and nicely wrapping the gifts. Alarm bells had already started going off in my head around this time.
M: 40s W: 40s 2 Ds PA suspected Summer 2019 / assumed still ongoing BD: Fall 2019
