Doing my thing & moving forward

[may22]

Hi Wooba,

I want to note how far you've come (back) in the short time between the two emails... the first sparked anxiety and now you can LOL at his pettiness.

Stay strong. Let him rage and count pennies and try to control you. When I think of the lighthouse imagery, I actually don't usually think about the actual light shining. I think about the base of the lighthouse, on a rocky cliff, and the waves trying to beat away at the rocks and just washing away. You are strong and unaffected and taking steps in the right direction for you and your kids. You can be kind and compassionate when you respond, but be sure you keep *seeing* what is going on.

Another time he told me that if we separate, he would no longer care about the children, because his love for the children rested on his love for me. How messed up is that??

That is really, really messed up. I'm so sorry. If I were you, I might find a couple examples of totally unacceptable things he's said or done that you think came from the heart-- not out of transient anger or whatever-- and hold onto those to remember when you need to. Because he will probably come by in a day or three and bring pasta salad and be extra nice to the kids and you just might be tempted to get back on that roller coaster if you don't keep your resolve up.

Do you see a fair path forward with the finances while remaining Med? And I'm glad your business is going well-- that is awesome!