H txt asking if he has boys on friday, i said yes.
He said he is taking them somewhere then, i asked on his own? The reason i asked is last time he had the kids one was returned with burns on his fingers and he hasnt mentioned anything. He is also concerned re covid and yeT suggesting taking them to a very busy environment....
Some time ago h said that Ap wanted to meet me as she feels akward and wants to put the record straight ( dont know if its true) I declined the offer.....
So we all work in the same building and inevitable i will run into her, i saw her today, i dont think she did though.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Im assuming im ignoring her just like i would have done before, our jobs sont overlap in any way.
Some time ago h said that Ap wanted to meet me as she feels akward and wants to put the record straight ( dont know if its true) I declined the offer.....
So we all work in the same building and inevitable i will run into her, i saw her today, i dont think she did though.
Any suggestions on how to deal with this? Im assuming im ignoring her just like i would have done before, our jobs sont overlap in any way.
Sounds good. You say AP wants to meet you, AP wants you to make her feel less awkward. You are not responsible for fulfilling AP's desires nor managing her emotions. The truth value of his reasons don't matter since neither reason benefits you. I'd only consider doing something like this if it somehow directly benefited the children. I never felt a need to meet my ex-W's partners, and never introduced her to mine, although we crossed paths on occasion as it sounds like you and her do.
AP and H dont feel they have done anything wrong.....so ap wanted to meet so i didn't feel like she was treading on my toes apparently. I think they are both delusional!
Our kids dont know That mummy and daddy are seperated and H and Ap dont live together and only meet a handful of times a week, so meeting her would not benefit me in any way, and a handful of times my kids met her, she was introduced to them as someone daddy works with thats it.
AP and H dont feel they have done anything wrong.....so ap wanted to meet so i didn't feel like she was treading on my toes apparently. I think they are both delusional!
Our kids dont know That mummy and daddy are seperated and H and Ap dont live together and only meet a handful of times a week, so meeting her would not benefit me in any way, and a handful of times my kids met her, she was introduced to them as someone daddy works with thats it.
Thank you
Gigi, yeah don't get involved in their crazy. People engaged in affairs will do all kinds of mental gymnastics to justify their behavior. I have mentioned a friend of mine that was cheating on her husband. Her husband and her had been having problems for years. Her and spoke one day and she started telling me that her H messed up, and she was completely done. In her mind the marriage was over, and there was no way of saving it. I came right out and asked her if she had met someone new? She was incredulous! "What? No, but even if I had that has nothing to do with it because I've given up completely on this marriage."
She admitted to me 2 years later that she had been engaged in an affair that was by then over. When I reminded her that I had asked her flat out about someone else when she said she was done 2 years prior, she admitted that it was probably because the affair had begun. This is very common. WAS and LBS have problems in their marriage. WAS meets someone new. They then spend considerable time convincing themselves that the marriage was all ready over except on paper, and what they are doing isn't really wrong.
Delusional is an apt description. It is very delusional to think you can cheat on your spouse and it not be "wrong". This is why we advise LBSs not to go out and commit adultery themselves to "get back" at the cheating spouse. The relief from such a move is temporary, doesn't resolve anything, and brings another person into an already overly complex scenario. A wrong doesn't make a right. That goes for cheating on a cheating spouse. And it goes for cheating because the marriage is bad or the LBS hasn't been a perfect mate.
I'd calmly and kindly decline their offer. And then refuse to acknowledge further discussion on the topic.
The time will come to sit your kids down and let them know that mommy and daddy are splitting up. You'll know when that time is, but for now I'd just focus on DBing.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
It so great to speak to sane people that understand what is going on!
I have politely declined and said that i dont see any reason why i would meet her.
Your story about a friend is spot on! Even when i found the messages on the pc, h said its just words they mean nothing....
Im getting good at gal and just living life, im always happy (not fake, but i actually feel hapoy most day when i wake up), content and calm. And jeez i have patience that i didnt know existed.
H is only planning to tell the boys once he has a stable place to live at, which will take months and months to sort. Where he is staying at the moment is temporary and will end in 3 weeks, so he might end up moving back to out house.
But i will post about that when he has that convo with me! He hasnt yet......
