FWIW, I agree it wouldn't have done any good to have discussed this ahead of time with your H. I'm going to guess he would have gone on the rampage regardless of whether you talked to him before or not, asked to restart mediation, etc etc. He doesn't really want this for whatever reasons of his own and he is going to be pi$$ed. But... he's also been gone for two years. He's dating someone else and has introduced her to your kids. What are you supposed to do?? Sit home in the house you can't sell but can't keep him out of? What Yail said about him keeping you hostage really hit me hard, reading it. It isn't right and he is just too self-absorbed (ego-driven?) to see beyond his own desires.
You deserve so much more than this. I'm glad for you taking this step. It is brave and difficult and your strength is shining through.
xx M
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
