I have to be honest, it feels a little weird. Freeing and terrifying at the same time. A part of me thinks I should have spoken to him first, but given our inability to communicate on anything other than the most logistical of topics, I doubt it would have done any good. I am scared of the reaction (Yail is not the only conflict avoidant of us). A part of me thinks this might be the wake up call he needs, but that is wishful thinking.
I have been delaying restarting the mediation (where we were to discuss childcare/finances) stating that I did not want to do that until the world returns to normal. To block the mediation and then move forward (behind his back) on the D will look like I have some type of bitter tactical agenda. It will be both a kick in the teeth and a trigger to assume the worst of me (again). He will attack based on my "taking food out of the children's mouths", being non-transparent and an emotionless b**ch.
