I can understand the desire not to get a L. it is a lot of $$ and given the amount of your assets it might not make a ton of sense, especially when you go the route of "send all the docs to my L." However, I think you are entitled to some degree of spousal support and also you should TOTALLY go after the pension, or at least don't take it off the table. Keep it there as a bargaining chip even if you decide you are OK to leave it be in exchange for 3-5 years of spousal support or something like that. Also I think in most states, the value of all his tools and pocket knives and other possessions, as long as they weren't gifts or inheritances and he didn't bring them into the M, are half yours. So if he takes all his pocketknives and tools and they're worth $10k total, you get $5k more of the cash.
Don't let him bully you into no mediation. Talk to a L and understand your rights in your state even if you have to pay for the hour or whatever. Totally worth it.
Know in your heart that what is he saying is BS. Total BS. Erase it. Let it roll off you like beads of water.
You got this.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
