Finding and living compassionate indifference

[DnJ]

Is it because the mediator would be the one telling him what the courts would decide, and not me? Would this somehow make him act rationally?

No one can make a person act rationally.

My XW was quite irrational and sped through her divorce, much against the advice of her lawyer. He actually made her see two financial planners and a doctor and sign a waiver that she was acting against his advice. She still went ahead with the speedy separation.

I don't know how to force him to go to mediation. And telling him that lawyers are going to cost more doesn't sway him either, because he doesn't think he will have to pay for any of my attorney fees.

You cannot force a MLCer to do anything. Apply force, and they will come out swinging.

And you cannot reason with them. These are desperate people and desperate people do desperate things. You trying to reason with H will be seen as a threat and he will push back.

For right now, let your L gather the information. You’re going to need to at some point. You cannot trust H anyhow, he will try to hide stuff.

Then, with the full picture, you will know. The probable spilt and allowances for you. It is at this time you can negotiate, not until. Do not negotiate with H until you have all the facts.

D