You are on two paths. I’ve been encouraging you along the emotional path; time for a change. The business side needs attention - and now!!!
Find your indifference to H, and get a good grip on it. You can let your emotions out later, but when dealing with the business at hand stay focused and indifferent. Logical and reasoned, little emotion.
See a lawyer right a way!
Your H has shown his hand; and that’s not the worst of it, more is coming. MLCers feel entitled, you owe them, blah bah blah. They will use the legal system to its fullest for their gain. My XW threatened me with police action as well. Hahaha, oh they and their threats are so childish.
See a lawyer right away! (I said that twice because it’s that important)
Do not fall into that trap of- well I’ll just give him the house because after we separate and pay everything nothing will be left. BS!!! Do not do that!
You said yourself you don’t know how much money there is. He is lying to you.
Get a lawyer and let them deal with all of this. Tell them how H won’t give you the documents, or account access, etc. Tell them about all assets, that includes the car. It doesn’t matter who’s name it is in, everything is a marital asset; and you have a right to half of everything.
Let your L do all the investigating. They are very good at their job. They have much experience and this process is very thorough and efficient. Let your lawyer at H, and you just stand clear.
This is a business deal gone bad. That’s all. Be indifferent and be businesslike.
H is obviously angry, confused, and irrational. You cannot get through to him. Go dark or dim. Seriously. The guy is blaming you and threatening to leave you penniless. By the way, an annulment has some specific conditions that need to be met to invalidate the marriage. From what I know of your situation, none of them apply. One just can’t go get annulment of marriage; there must cause.
H is displaying very typical MLCer behaviour and threats. Let him. Seek legal counsel and financially protect yourself and get financial security.
H’s journey is all about him. He will use you and play you along. You don’t allow that - be businesslike.
None of this affects your other path. You are healing and finding your beliefs - for you.
cardinal, nothing you do will affect H or his path. And yet everything you do will. No one can predict how a MLCer will react to what we do. That is one reason why we don’t manipulate. Live your life for you. You be happy and find peace. Let the chips fall where they do.
H is on a runaway train, heading for a wreck. You best get off the train and get out of the way. You cannot stop this wreck. H cannot either. Sorry.
H will ramp up his projections and blaming. Do not fall prey to his poisonous words. He see the world through a lens of despair and depression. Don’t get dragged down in to that.
Stay strong my friend. This is just business and unfortunately a usual necessity for the LBS.
You got this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
