Journaling-So within this last month, the thaw that I had been seeing has all but disappeared. I have been sad and trying to redirect focus on me, since I do not get any focus from him.
I had thought that maybe his OW2 (and whomever else he has out there) were maybe over since they are all out of the country. He has been at home for the most part working here and not out of state because of the COVID guidelines. ( we are California so still pretty much locked down)
This morning, he came in to take a shower and he left. He never says goodbye anymore, but when I got out of bed, I noticed that his overnightbag was gone. I texted him, to ask if he was working and he responded he was going to the desert to go riding. I asked if he would be gone all weekend and he replied yes.
Part of my IC is to set boundaries, not to ask if he can do something, but to let him know what I would like. So I responded that "I would like if you could please let me know when you leave to be gone overnight" (I have been successful in the past with doing this) He replied after a couple of hours "ok".
Then he sent me a picture of what I think looks like the border of Mexico like TJ. So I asked what it was for. He sent me a question mark. I figure that at that moment he realized he did the cardinal rule you don't break while texting, he did not look to make sure who he was texting and texted the last person, me.
So then since he questioned it, I said "it looks like Mexico, why did you send that?" he replied it was when he had worked there. (someone had a mask on-umm, liar) so then he said he was driving and could not text.
So I know he lied and drove to Mexico to visit someone or meet someone. I understand that, but why lie? If he wants out, why lie?
Can a veteran please help me to understand? Because what I come up with is that he is trying to explain it away so I am not mad. I mean, he does not know if I will change the locks and put his stuff outside. ( I won't)
I am trying to look at this weekend alone as all for me, and not think about it. But I would appreciate any help.
