I feel you, sister. I truly feel you. You know I do if you have read my threads. This might be the hardest thing you will ever do. You want answers. I wanted answers too. I suffered and spun for years. Here is the problem, there are no answers and there are no guarantees. In any M. Why? Because none of us can predict the future in life or in a M. There is only one thing you can rest assured and that is that time does heal all. Think of a time in your childhood when you were hurting? You do not feel that way now and you have (hopefully) healed. Think of your first heartbreak. Think of a death of a loved one. .... These wounds do heal in time. And this one will too.
But, there is also work to do as you lick your wounds. I have no idea how long it will take to heal and rebuild this.. For me it has been about 4 years. Now I am at 5 years. It is still not perfect. Please read the piecing thread and reread it. See how much work it is? See how long it takes? And that is assuming that TWO people continue to do the work. Not everyone can or will. It is hard work.
With any crisis I have faced, there is one main thing that has got me through. The core belief that it will not always be this way. Trust and have faith that over time this too (the deep pain and fear) shall pass. You have two both have to exercise the most herculean patience man has ever known. You have to heal your wounds and work through your problems, but you also have to move forward and build a new M that is stronger than before. You will mess up often. You will have to keep getting up and dusting yourselves off and trying again. And again. And again.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
