Caught in limbo

[BL42]

WMWB,

So much of your situation resonates with me. It's as if I'm reading my own story with my wife talking/texting a co-worker starting earlier this year and then becoming completely cold/resentful/angry towards me while I was in shock she was completely unwilling to work on our (what I thought were smaller) issues and fix our marriage and left wondering what I did that was so bad which made her hate me. To the point of more experienced posters, we're not unique and our wives definitely seem to be following "the script".

LH19 and sandi2's posts on your thread really seem to speak to me as well, and are helping me start to understand how far gone our wives are and why they're so angry/resentful when we haven't done anything "that bad". They feel guilt and anger about their own actions and are projecting them onto us. My wife would be the first person to rail against affairs and bad situations with other couples throughout our marriage...until she herself got into one.

Your last post really nailed my mindset as well. I googled those identical search terms and back in March took comfort in the affairs rarely end well and some limerent affairs last as little as 3 months, but as time passed and I read about more and more of this site, I realize how naive that hope was - most situations take WAY longer than 3 months and often last years.

Finally, "but instead we wake up in the morning and for that brief moment it’s all right until the grief washes over you until it’s time to get up and the struggle between hope and detachment and no contact begins again". YES, YES, YES. I COMPLETELY understand. Sleeping is a temporary comfort and relief from the reality of our situations but you have to wake up at some point only to realize it's not a dream.