(((FS))). Yes...what you describe would make it difficult to fully separate although I have my MIL in the downstairs suite and my XH comes by often. He is also dropping the kids off and picking them up a lot due to his gf’s medical issues and having to go to the hospital a lot (oh the irony of that!!). Yesterday he was visiting with his mom briefly and I went down and we talked for a bit. A year ago, I could not have done that and it would have bothered me immensely that he was in my house, my yard, etc... Now I don’t care so it has no impact on my day whatsoever. I really think that is the biggest difference. I think if you were truly past everything, it wouldn’t bother you that he was around. I know one thing for sure, if/when you are ready to date and you find yourself in a new relationship, he will not be around as much as he will want to avoid running into the new guy. So you have that to look forward to at least...
IDK...you are definitely in a bit of a pickle. Is there no way you can just have an honest conversation with him and let him know you are finding it difficult to 100% move on when he is around so much? Can you not just make an agreement that when you are there, he is not? Push for the divorce? A divorce would necessitate the selling of the house and the dividing up of assets, would it not?
Anyway...I do get that it is harder for you but I still don’t think it is impossible. Re: the girls. D12 and I have had a number of very honest conversations about the challenges of balancing her need for me to be her “mom” and my need to move past my broken marriage. Now that your H has a girlfriend, maybe D13 will understand this better and have more tolerance for it. At the end of the day, my D12 wants me to be happy and she does much better when she sees that I am. S12 also feels his best when he sees me happy and smiling. It frees both of them up to love their dad and his gf and I think this is the best thing for all of us.
Really hope your date this weekend goes well. I think you could really benefit from having someone new in your life. My yearlong “relationship” with Jack was such a gift. Even though I knew it wasn’t going to last, it so helped me to realize at a deep level that life was not over for me. I am excited at what the future might hold for me. I wish that for you as well my beautiful friend!! (((HUGS)))
