Growth is one of those things that just takes time . Unfortunately it’s not overnight and sometimes one grows away from the other . Or you grow together . I do not regret stepping off his crazy roller coaster because honestly sometimes they do need to learn on their own . He looked back often . I think I learned more about myself in the end . I have almost too much patience now . Where he says I’m oblivious to a lot . It’s not I’m oblivious I just don’t invest time into non sense .
The reward can be great. My children are way happier not watching us go to war and having both parents in the home . Overall I’m happier . I just have learned to not sweat the small stuff . The big stuff is what needs more attention . The continuation of your husband and this leech is a big thing . Sweat how you feel about that not a vacation with the kids
CG-- I'm really glad to hear you're doing well. Patience... always in short supply with me and it is one thing I've been learning through all of this. (And... I keep hearing your voice remembering when he was in this big drama over needing to break it off with her in person back in Feb... you were like that is NONSENSE.)
In terms of sweating the big stuff.. I'm really done with dealing with him and the AP. It's been actually a couple of weeks now that he's said they're out of contact. I'm just waiting for him to commit to being done for good, not just for now; tell her that; and block her/ delete her contact info so that she can't throw bombs anymore. That's what I'm asking for in order to go on this trip with him. If he can't do that... we aren't going. And I think we're done. (Though I'm not quite ready yet to be the one to pull the trigger... I have said and maintain I'm not making that decision for him. I realize that puts me in a weaker position than if I could just say F you, see you in court... but that is a line I can't yet see myself crossing.)
Anyway. Hugs to you, Caligirl... hang in there with the COVID stuff and we are all behind you. xoxo
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing