I love love love the spectrum of advice you receive here and each person has so much great, true and RIGHT advice. But only you know your H and your situation and only you can trust yourself to make the right decision for YOU.
Because I love looking at things from all angles (which can get me in trouble in my own situation, so there’s the warning), I have been thinking about your H and wanted to share this thought, take it or leave it:
What I believe you are wanting H to do (correct me if I’m wrong) is to communicate with OW and break things off for good, tell her he is blocking her/deleting her number and never wants to hear from her again (she’ll have to reach out to someone else when she is feeling depressed/suicidal). But what if he can’t do that? Not from a standpoint of living up to your expectations, but from the standpoint that his last communication with her was 1 or 2 weeks ago and he has a certain level of detachment that further communication will just open up his head/heart to more attachment? What if he is not able to deal with her feelings right now? He may just need to be focusing on his feelings and your feelings and reaching out to her would just be too much?
If he were to delete WhatsApp, would that be enough for you? I know at one point you were concerned about her and her suicidal thoughts, but really?!? I highly doubt that she has NO ONE else in her life she could reach out to if she was truly in crisis. I mean, this woman was planning a trip with her exBF, FFS. She’s not alone in this world.
The tough thing in your sitch is that H didn’t fly off to fairyland and explore the potential of their R, fail and then come home remorseful and begging you back. Which is fortunate on one hand, but unfortunate in that you are not going to get the fairytale return of your H. You’re going to get WF’s return, best case scenario. Where you have to suffer his indecision, witness his mental anguish IRL and wait for his slow slow slow return to your M. Are you OK with that? If so, go on this trip and trust the process (add in your boundaries as needed). If not, boot him to the curb and move on with your mighty life. The choice is yours.
