Living with a WAS/MLC husband...who does not care

[BlueSea]

Thank you BluWave! your advice is so spot on, every time.

Your post is exactly what I needed to read at this time. I could not have said it better...

You are seeing his wrong doings and betrayals clearly for what they are. At the same time, you appreciate his positive efforts and small changes. You are walking a very fine line and a very long line of balancing 1. working together to understand and fix past problems and 2. moving forward and creating a healthier relationship.

I am caught in between hugging him and hitting him at any given second. The fact that he is so remorseful and kind to me during an emotional outburst makes it that much harder in a way. But, this is where I wanted to be, back in his arms. So I am grateful but at the same time mad as well as scared as well as deeply sad (that it will never be the same).

Like you said, I had my head down working so hard to break down the 'hatred wall' that I did not even consider the other side, reconciliation. I did read your thread, and thought - cr@p, that other side has its issues - but I put my head back down and said to myself I would deal with it when/if I got to that...and here I am dealing with that.

Just this morning, another revelation - so sorry I also lost an additional $12k in 2017. I spiraled around that. Not the money per se, which is gone and I can not do much about that, but that was 4 years ago! He was being pretty deceitful for a long time, what else is there? It made me sad/mad, of course. He wanted to talk, but one thing I have come to terms with is that I am not good at emotional regulation, so I just said I could not, that I was not in the right headspace and exited. We talked later when I was ready to engage. It was all about trust, lack of and rebuilding.

Right now, he is trying and I am trying. I have alot of hope that this will work out. I do feel disconnected from him right now, but I think that is natural right BluWave? Please tell me that you went thru this disconnected feeling, how long will it take to find that connection again?

Thank you for the link! I will check it out~